Trauma Defenses: What They Are and Why They Show Up During Therapy

When you begin to process trauma—whether through EMDR, parts work, somatic therapy, or another modality—it’s common to hit inner roadblocks. You might feel foggy, numb, distracted, overwhelmed, or like you suddenly want to stop therapy altogether.

These aren’t signs that something’s going wrong. They’re signs that your system is beginning to engage with what’s been held back or unprocessed.

Trauma defenses are the mind and body’s way of protecting you from distress that once felt unbearable. And when you start to revisit those painful memories or emotions in therapy, your system might respond by reaching for the same defenses it once used to help you survive.

This is not a failure—it’s part of the healing process. In fact, working through these defenses is trauma work. And it’s one reason why healing can take time. For some people, the protective layers are many and complex, and that isn’t always clear at the beginning of therapy. Often, it only becomes apparent as deeper layers begin to emerge over the course of the work. This is one reason it can be hard to estimate how long therapy will take.

Common Trauma Defenses That May Arise in Therapy

Here are some common trauma defenses that may show up as you begin to process:

• Numbing Out – Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected mid-session

• Avoidance – Skipping appointments or steering away from emotionally charged topics

• Overthinking or Intellectualizing – Thinking your feelings instead of feeling them

• Doubt – Questioning your memories, your healing process, or whether your trauma “counts”

• Hypervigilance – Staying in a high-alert state that makes it hard to access deeper emotional work

• Shut Down or Freeze Responses – Going blank or foggy when difficult emotions arise

• Self-Criticism – Harsh inner voices telling you that you should be over it by now

When Trauma Defenses Are More Risky

Sometimes, trauma defenses take the form of behaviors that are more visibly harmful or harder to talk about—like addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, or even suicidal thoughts. While these experiences can feel frightening, isolating, or shameful, they often serve the same core function as any other trauma defense: to help a person survive or manage overwhelming internal distress.

These behaviors may offer a sense of control when life feels chaotic, numb emotional or physical pain, or express deep suffering that hasn’t yet found words. While they can be dangerous or painful, they are not signs of failure. They’re often the most accessible strategies someone had in moments when safer tools weren’t available. In trauma therapy, we meet these defenses with compassion and curiosity, not judgment. The goal isn’t to force them away, but to understand what they’ve been protecting—and help the nervous system learn that there are other, more sustainable ways to feel safe and supported.

Working With Trauma Defenses, Not Against Them

Healing isn't about tearing down defenses—it’s about creating enough safety that they no longer need to work so hard. In trauma therapy, we don’t push past resistance or try to “fix” your defenses. Instead, we stay curious and attuned.

In session, we might:

• Slow down when something feels too intense

• Gently name when a defense shows up, without judgment

• Acknowledge the part of you that is protecting you from pain

• Practice nervous system regulation so that processing becomes more manageable

• Invite exploration: “What is this defense trying to protect you from?”

The time it takes to process trauma isn’t a reflection of your strength or motivation—it’s often about how many protective layers your system needed to build. Some people discover early in therapy that they’re highly defended, while others realize it gradually as they go deeper. Both are valid. Both are workable.

The more we build safety and trust in the therapeutic relationship, the more those protective parts begin to loosen—and healing becomes more possible.

You're Not Doing It Wrong if It's Hard

If you’ve found yourself avoiding therapy, disconnecting in session, or wondering why this process feels harder than you expected—you’re not alone. Processing trauma activates the very systems that once helped you survive. That’s not failure. That’s healing in motion.

Trauma defenses are part of the process. They aren’t roadblocks—they are the work. When they show up, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because your nervous system is doing what it learned to do: protect you. In therapy, we help those parts gently learn that it’s safe to step back. You’re safe now. You don’t have to keep bracing for impact.

With time, support, and a pace that honors your experience, you can feel more internal space, more freedom, and more trust in yourself.

When Trauma Defenses Feel Especially Entrenched

For some clients, trauma defenses are so well-practiced and deeply embedded that even accessing emotion or memory feels out of reach. These strategies were developed for very good reasons—and they don’t loosen just because you want them to.

In these cases, Ketamine Assisted EMDR Therapy™ can be a powerful support.

How Low-Dose Ketamine Can Help Soften Defenses—Not Override Them

When used at low doses in conjunction with EMDR, ketamine can help soften the inner defenses that keep trauma material locked away. Clients often describe it as creating more openness, more access, and less internal resistance.

Importantly, low-dose ketamine doesn’t suppress your defenses—it works with them, creating enough space for insight and healing without pushing past your internal limits. You remain awake, alert, and able to engage in therapy. There’s no eye mask, no psychedelic journey, no loss of agency. Instead, ketamine helps you unblend from your protectors, making it easier to observe and engage with the protective parts of you that often take over during trauma work.

This makes it especially effective for clients who feel stuck, shut down, or unable to access emotion even after doing meaningful work in therapy, when something still feels out of reach.

Healing at the Pace of Safety

Working through trauma defenses is not about rushing toward breakthrough moments—it’s about moving at the pace your nervous system can tolerate. Some days, that may mean processing big memories. Other days, the work might be less about processing the trauma itself and more about gently noticing a defense has shown up- and choosing to work with that part, rather than shaming yourself for it.

That is the work. That is healing.

Ready to Begin or Go Deeper in Your Healing Journey?

I offer online trauma therapy—including EMDR and Ketamine Assisted EMDR Therapy™—for adults in Arizona, Oregon, Washington, and Massachusetts. If you’re noticing defenses in your healing work, or just want support navigating trauma in a safe, intentional way, I’m here to help.

Schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.